The Leading Question Article Series

Are You Leading By Remote Control?

Learn to Influence Instead

One of the comedies in theaters this summer was Click, a film about Michael Newman (Adam Sandler) who was given a 'universal remote' enabling him to control everything in his life. From coworkers, to wife, to kids, Michael simply pressed a button and he could control any situation however he wanted.

Funny premise for a movie; dangerous platform for leadership.

Too often, I observe CEOs and senior leaders trying to control their organizations in a similar manner, as if changing behaviors is as easy as changing channels. And when things get particularly difficult - times when leadership is needed the most - they respond by attempting to increase their level of control, many times employing rewards and punishments to force compliance.

While this approach may produce short-term results, over the long term it destroys the credibility of the leader, the organization's trust in them, and the ability of leaders to truly 'lead' the organization in new directions needed to change a culture, innovate new products, or expand a business into new markets.

Control vs. Influence

Control is about exerting power, which is limited in duration and scope. It is taken by the wielder and effects only the external actions of others, usually reluctantly. It is usually based on fear - "do this or be punished."

Influence is about exercising authority, which can be unlimited in its impact. Authority is granted to the wielder by others, often enthusiastically. It is based on trust and, as long as trust is maintained, is self-perpetuating and sustainable.

At the O'Brien Group, we teach our clients that authentic leadership exists in the domain of influence and is based upon constant attention to relationships that create and promote trust. What can you do to build the trust in your relationships that ensures that you are leading by influence rather than control?

'Being' a Leader

Many executives make the mistake of working on what they think they should be doing as a leader rather than focusing on the more important work of how they need to be as a leader. Instead of asking - "what can I do to get people to trust me?" ask, "how can I be trustworthy?" See the difference?

One area where trust can manifest itself is in how leaders deal with setbacks and breakdowns; when things don't go as planned, where leadership is needed the most.

Leaders don't get pulled into the trap of assigning blame. Instead, they look for accountability: First, they look for and discover something that will move the situation forward through the breakdown. Then, they claim accountability for enabling that movement to happen.

To claim accountability is to claim the ability to respond powerfully. Leaders are always looking to impact others-to support, to change, to encourage, to challenge. They look at situations asking, "What can I make happen here? What can I be accountable for right now?"

Sometimes what they can impact may seem small: people are upset about a change. Perhaps all the leader can be accountable for is helping people move beyond their upset, so they are ready to start again. Great, take that step and build from there.

See the Fear

Human beings naturally experience fear when they are threatened. None of us likes to be wrong, to be blamed, to have a sense of being out-of-control. When we feel threatened, our bodies respond as they are designed to do. Fear gets us to run (physically, intellectually, or emotionally) before we analyze the danger. That worked well when we faced tigers, but in business we are merely facing other people who threaten our view of things or our self-concept.

Leadership as a way of being involves developing the skill of noticing what you are feeling and thinking at any moment in time. Until leaders come to terms with their own fear, they don't have the distinctions to see the fear in others around them. What they see instead is someone who isn't cooperating, or isn't taking their share of responsibility. They see someone who is incompetent.

A leader who can see the fear in those around them can take the right actions to address it. They get curious and interested in why the other person feels as they do. They work to see the situation from the other person's point of view; always asking the powerful question, "What is Life calling for here?"

It is in this space of serving others where a leader's authenticity and trustworthiness shine through.

Repeat, Repeat, Repeat

The noteworthy thing about trust is that it is never neutral; every interaction either expands or reduces the amount of trust in a relationship. Leaders understand that the state of leadership is never constant and that they must continually work to influence others to translate their vision into actual behavior.

Successful leaders know that leadership is not just a role, it is a relationship. Leaders influence through taking action in the places where inspiring, motivating and encouraging people is essential to achieving new or improved results.

Good leaders know that if people are already going to get someplace without leadership, then leadership isn't needed. If you run a McDonald's restaurant, where rigorous consistency, not change, is the order of the day, then good management will do just fine. Authentic leaders look for where their presence and actions are truly needed, when the group needs to move to someplace they are not likely to get to unless the influence of their leadership is involved.

People want to be led by someone real and trustworthy - not controlled. Executives who attempt to control their organizations may generate brief improvements, but will never achieve lasting, enthusiastic behavior changes.

By contrast, executives who lead through influence, founded upon trust and authenticity, enroll motivated followers eager to work toward achieving the leader's vision .

This sought-after state of leadership is not achieved by remote control. It requires hard work, reinforcement, and a desire to serve others. But those who put down the remote control and put in the work will find themselves on the way to becoming authentic leaders.

For more ideas on how to increase the pace, success, and sustainability of change in your organization, please call 513-821-9580 or email me at michael@obriengroup.us

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